And then there’s the reactions of other people to deal with – not least your in laws and your own children, if you’re a parent.So the best advice is to proceed with caution and to make sure you’re ready before you take the plunge. In an effort to save everyone the trouble (not to mention the awkward moments when I bust you peering through my kitchen window at the back of my house), I’ve decided to put it all out there for everyone to see. I do know, however, that the gossips will gossip and that while I am a grown woman who answers only to me, it is sometimes less work to be blunt. Or better yet, they sit in the comfort of their own home, surf the web, and hunt you through your status updates and Facebook photos you get tagged in. Yes, that was us in the Dominican, frolicking on the beach. While I’d like to believe the best in everyone, that they are merely looking out for me, I am not so naive.If you are dating or planning to marry a widow or widower, here are some suggestions and thoughts to consider.LEARN ALL ABOUT GRIEF Do some research about grief, read books and talk to others in similar situations. I am waiting for the proverbial poop to hit the fan. They can simply spy through the blinds across the street or stalk her house at all hours of the night pretending they were “just stopping by to say hi”.
If you pay close attention, you actually may learn many interesting things about your new partner, for example: how he/she views the world; how he/she treats a partner; likes and dislikes, etc.I wipe my slick palms against the thigh of my jeans, gnawing nervously on my thumb’s shredded hang nail. What’s it like to date again after you are widowed? And, to be frank, I had zero interest in ever being in it again. I fumbled, made some mistakes, and, yes, had some fun too. So for all of you aching to know and just too , scared to ask, I will now attempt to answer all those taboo questions with as much honesty as I can muster. Like many widows out there, I was out of the dating game for a long, long time. I bypassed the entire “dating” phase of life and essentially went straight from high school to married so learning to cope with members of the opposite sex in a dating situation was beyond my comprehension at first.The slightest emotional rejection could plunge you back into the depths of despair.And you may also be plagued by feelings of guilt and uncertainty.One is ready to date again whenever solitude gives way to loneliness.