For as long as I can remember, I've watched my friends pair off. As an introvert, I not only like my alone time, I need it. I said it: "I'm lonely." And try as my paired up friends might, they don’t seem to fully understand what it's like to watch everyone around you fall in love. Giphy Between boyfriends and girlfriends and spouses and kids and church, there's always someone before you on the priority list.Temporarily and fleetingly in high school, longer and more lasting in college, and now, permanently. But, somewhere along the line, I stopped just being single and started being lonely. They don't understand that I'm lonely and what it means to be so. I don't have that one person I come home to at the end of the day, with whom I share all the mundane details of my life.I've gathered input from three of my most trusted single girlfriends whose ages range from early 40s to late-50s. We love you guys and want the best for you, so here goes.
Maybe you've heard it all before, maybe it doesn't apply to you, maybe you've got the dating thing down -- it doesn't matter.For as much as I value and need alone time, nothing is more isolating than realizing no one has touched you in over a month. I can't help but be jealous of the fact that other people have someone to come home to — that they have the occasional unthinking brush of hands and take so much for granted. I've tried really hard to make them enough, but it's like forcing a puzzle piece into a spot it doesn't belong. Comparing the two or romanticizing something I consider painful undermines my feelings and makes me hate you a tiny bit.9. Giphy It’s kind of like the "Dead Dad's Club." (Please lower your pitchforks and allow me to explain.) Until you lose your dad, you don’t know what it's like.Giphy It's not something you know until you've experienced it, and it's hard to describe. It's an ache in your chest, a heaviness that you can't shake, a longing that only the touch of another person can soothe.5. Giphy No matter how much I like my friends' significant other (and really, they're great! Although some may argue there are benefits to being a third-wheel, a little part of me dies every time I have to plaster a smile on my face and joke to the waiter that the bill is going to be split, "Two, two, and me. You can push and push and push, but it's never going to quite sit right. You can sympathize and you can think, "Oh, that's really sh*tty," but you can't really empathize. Unless you've experienced it — unless you know what true, deep, painful loneliness is like — you don't get it.I'm not saying it's wrong that I'm not the top priority (of course family should come first). Giphy When you're not part of a couple and you're living alone, physical touch goes out the window. I'm talking mundane, everyday, almost-no thought-put-into-them touches.But for the perpetually alone sometimes it'd be nice to be first. Last week, I realized it had been months since I’d been touched by another person. But when the loneliness is overwhelming and all-consuming, I can't help it. I have an outstandingly good group of friends and family, but as much as I want them to be (and as much they wish they could be), they aren't enough. Giphy Stop telling me how you'd love to have some peace and quiet, or a night where no one touches you. There is a profound, bone-deep difference between "alone time" and being lonely.Simply join Spice of Life by entering your free profile and you will immediately be able to view singles in your area, change your destiny today and be lonely no more it really is that simple, lonely today, two hearts combined tomorrow!